I just wish I'd taken that opportunity, those last opportunities to just say that one word.. "Goodbye". I can only try not to be so hard on myself, but I believe I will always hate myself for not going to their funerals.. I feel I don't deserve for them to be watching over me

It's a horrible feeling to have and, after reading your post, Blossom, I can understand fully where you're coming from too.. It's just not fair.. I lost my Foster Dad to cancer and it was so unexpected.. I didn't know what it was until he was already gone.. Now I'll not see him ever again.. I'll never get to meet the people I promised I'd meet