Hi all.... I'm new here and this my first post. Hopefully someone has some good advice for me!! I have just come off the anti-depressants and have spent the whole day crying and am feeling very low.

Things have been bad between hubby and me lately. He's not got any work on and is down about it and has been shutting me out and this has been making me totally down as well as I don't know what to do to help him and it hurts that he's been so closed off to me. The other day I did something bad and checked his facebook messages and it turns out he's been messaging his ex girlfriend. Messages are totally innocent but I couldn't help but pick up that he'd put an "X" at the end of his messages. And also, that he hadn't told me about it!!!! He's now arranged to do some work for her which he has told me about - and I can't very well expect him to turn down paid work at a time like this. But it's bugging me - I can't stop thinking about it - especially as things have been so weird between us. I can't help wondering if he's looking elsewhere for something, a bit of excitement or something that he's not getting from me. I keep wondering how he feels when he's talking to her online and whether he still fancies her and whether he's getting a buzz from it.

It's driving me mad. Am I being an insecure silly mare or should I be worried???

He also had kids with a different ex and his contact with her drives me mad to and we have lots of fights about it. I've been cheated on lots of times in the past by previous boyfriends and I'm terrified that I'm going to be made a fool of again. I seem to swing between totally trusting him and thinking that its just my insecurities, to being convinced that he's lying and sneaking around. I just can't work out what the truth is anymore. He says that he loves me all the time but his actions say different - I get the feeling he just doesn't want to be around me.

Please... can anyone help me? I feel like I'm going mad??

Becks xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx