Thanks to Shez,
you're right about the children being able to pick up on my mood. When it first happened they could feel that Mommy was sad. But after 3 yrs. I went through the mourning stage of the relationship. I don't live with the hope of ever getting back to the way things used to be. In my mind I don't consider him my husband and we don't sleep together. At least I don't have to lower myself in that way. If I were to divorce him or force him to move out now, then it would plunge me and the children into a poverty situation. After 3 years I do my very best at managing my emotions and thank God my girls are smart very well adjusted kids. He is to his credit a loving father. Anyway, thanks for the note you seem like a nice person.