That sounds like a good idea.. I will have to try that some day soon.. I have tried writing letters, poems and such.. One including a song for one of my closest friends that died.. It's helped a little, each page tear stained of course

I don't know how I'll ever be able to live with the knowledge that I didn't go to their funerals, with the knowledge that I didn't even know them all as well as I wanted to.. With the knowledge that I'll never know the one person I should know and who is now dead.. My Dad..

I'm not nagry with him, no, I'll never be angry with him.. I just feel such sadness inside, and such emptiness knowing that I have nothing to remember him by, my sister has all the pictures of him and she's probably burned them by now and that I'll never know him at all, that I'll never properly know anyone of those people that died, apart from my Foster Dad.. the most wonderful Man I've ever known

I do, every day think how lucky I am to be breathing every breath that I take, but each breath that I do take is filled with such a heavy weight, of sorrow, pain, despair, anger, frustration.. I feel like there must have been something I could have done.. i blame myself for each and every death

The stars are the only things that keep me going.. All because of something my Foster Dad said that I'll always remember and treasure in my heart.. I wish he was here