Locust, I think that some people are just more naturally sensitive and these people need extra help while growing up learning how to handle this. Maybe you didn't get this extra help? I have one daughter who is very sensitive and I have skills in this area and it is a challenge for me to help her! Not all parents are so skilled in this area and they also might not have the time. I can certainly understand this.

No, you can't just pull the walls down. They were erected by your subconscious for a reason. I would suggest to you to understand why you erected these walls. This will give the the info you need to move forward.

I never learned healthy boundaries while growing up. After I was hurt enough I erected the thick concrete walls but it does get pretty lonely behind these. When you have a fear of intimacy you want intimacy really badly but the fear keeps you from obtaining it. What I did was pursue men who were not available. This very issue was what got me into therapy in my early 20's over 20 years ago.

I had to learn many things in order to become healthy in this area. I had to learn what was normal, social skills, I had to learn that I could erect boundaries and adjust them as I needed (you keep some people back and allow others to get very close), my self worth needed to be worked on because when you feel that you are worthless you certainly don't want anyone close enough to see this!