jrae, I think your boat is bumping up against mine in this open sea of despair. I hear, feel, and understand your journey. I really can't give much advice, at this point (I think my boat is a little lower in the water than yours), but to me it seems that you have fallen back to a relatively stable point to dwell for now. All armies under attack fall back to a rallying point, lick their wounds (your cats may help you here), then set out again on the road to victory. You have time, cry now.......
But don't give up.... RALLY!!