we got an e-mail from one of her younger insiders who says she is so so so sad that they aren't coming. another of her insiders(W) is friends with our naomi and she(W) is upset because naomi hasn't written her and now they wonder if we really even care for them........

guilt piled on guilt. inside protector wants to "be honest" and say that the
guilt they are dumping on us is wrong. that we feel bad enough that the situation of H and us being sick was reason to cancel plans. the guilt is not helping. but we know the history of that tooo---she will become very defensive and upset.

i talked to T today and said i don't know what is worse--being healthy and making healthy choices and getting my emotions and triggers all stirred up like a snow globe or letting her continue to do this to me and cave when it gets too much.

we want to ignore the e-mail and not respond. not respond to the guilt trip. but we know what the fall out will be---and i'm already triggered enough......