It was hard....and scary....but I did it. The therapist made it clear to me that I am in a controlling, abusive relationship and that he feels that I've hit rock bottom. It is unhealthy for me and for our daughter.

I asked whether or not he thought that marriage counseling would help us. He said no, he didn't think so. My husband has not taken the steps he needed to in order to get better. There's a lot going on there between his OCD and his controlling behavior. I explained to the therapist that I feel like I am abandoning him when he has an illness. He said that only my husband can do something about his illness and he has chosen not to do it.

I now need to focus on ME and our daughter....my growth as a person.

Divorce seems inevitable. I committed to joining one of his groups, and I start a week from today. My next individidual therapy appt is next Thursday.

I talked to my boss about it, and he was very supportive, since it will interefere with my work time. Basically, I will need to skip lunch on Tuesdays to leave an hour early to get to my group appts. And then on Thursdays, I will need to take a late lunch to go.

I cried a lot.

There is so much going through my mind right now. How to handle getting him out of the house. How to manage the situation with our daughter. What the divorce settlement would look like - which is an extremely uncomfortable topic because I could end up losing a LOT.

I am a bit numb at the moment - mostly due to exhaustion....I've cried so much....