Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I find other's perspectives really helpful when I am so confused!

Earthmama, you wrote: Maybe they are just very attuned to us? I don't think my T is attuned to me yet, but I do think she is trying to be. So, it is helpful for me to think about this in those terms... to try and understand what she was saying and how it can help her and me to forge a stronger connection.

Rapunzel, thank you for this: There are not really hard and fast rules about what therapists can talk about to their clients, so much as the guideline that the focus is the client, and whatever countertransference or personal disclosure the therapist shares should be for a purpose that is designed to help the client. I don't think my T meant anything harmful - I do think she was trying to understand our relationship better, and disclosed her thoughts to try and help that. I was kinda freaking out that her disclosure may have been a definite no-no type of thing, so I am very glad to hear it isn't.

MissCharlotte, the trauma model of DID tells us that trauma is the root cause of the dissociation, whereas believers of the sociocultural model subscribe to the theory that DID is a therapist / culturally induced phenomenon (what they are saying really is that is isn't 'real'). Sadly, where I live, most Ts subscribe to the latter model.
I also didn't trust what she said about schizophrenia, and I am still very confused as to why she would discuss that in response to a question about DID. Is her understanding of DID so little that she thinks it *is* schizophrenia??? Scary thought.

You are right that my fear of her seeing me as a liar is a projection of mine. I was able to see that connection last night. When I was a child I was in foster care for some time after I disclosed some of the abuse to a teacher, but I was manipulated into saying I had lied (by my abusers, who still had contact and access to me), then returned home where the abuse continued for many more years.
So yes - my fear of being seen as a liar is huge and connected to a vast well of hopelessness and powerlessness. I have a lot of transference issues around that.

I know I need to discuss DID with my T, once and for all. I think perhaps the 'unreal' thing from her might come from my own presentation - which is emotionless, disconnected, and somewhat 'clinical'. I think if *I* were listening to someone describe the abuse in the way I have described some of mine to her I would feel unreal about it, too.
I am too scared to show her the alts in case she rejects them (doesn't believe in the trauma model and therefore thinks I am 'lying'), and yet when I hide the alts (and their emotion etc) from her she feels that I am not being real (which I suppose I am not).

My thoughts today are: I need to talk with her about DID. We need to start showing her more of who we are.
So so so scary.