'N' took my car keys away from me because I may have said I might drive my car into a tree... I'm so depressed about this whole thing, I don't know what to do anymore... I guess now I'm beginning to try and cut 'J' off completely, not only because of this but because I fear that I have hurt him and I just don't know what to do about any of this anymore... I talked to 'J' two days ago, he said he wanted to see how I was doing... I was honest and he started saying "I told you this would happen..." he continued to say that now I'm more destructive than I was before.
Then I told him that I thought God was dead and that God doesn't care about what happens to people in this world and 'J' jumped to the conclusion that I was going to become a Satin worshiper... It made me so angry... I don't need him to say things that hurt me, what I need from him right now is support.