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Originally Posted by Mouse_
No we are not inherently Evil, but we can internalise "evil" things that happen to us and then to gain control over them we make it that it was us that were evil, that deserved "it", its about trying to make sense of senseless actions.
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Very interesting statement Mouse. I need to reflect on it for a while.
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and yes at times I can get a high when I am angry and for moments I want to destroy someone,
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I'm glad to know I am not alone. I think as a child I got caught up in the Energy that EM described. Personally I think about it even from a physiological standpoint. Even the pain--> pleasure transition that was once posted about may come into play. Maybe there was a "high" experience simply from endogenous opates released by the body.
I think one thing I struggle with in the present is the cycle of
Excitory stimulus (rage)-->Uncontrolled released (fight response)-->experiencing a rush-->guilt over the distruction created during the uncontrolled release.
I think my childhood experiences conditioned me to believe that all Rushs and Uncontrolled emotional releases are BAD and ultimately lead to distruction and guilt. Therefore, I'm a complete control freak and avoid letting anything out.