Thanks so much Orange Blossom--
It's such a lonely process going through treatment--even though I have good friends.
Most people aren't interested in hearing about this kind of past experience--and I don't blame them. You can get secondary trauma just by hearing another persons story.
I'm not sure the story is so important anyway--I least I don't think mine is--but what I'm realizing is important is to really acknowledge that things were as bad as they were.
And to fully accept them. I had a breakthrough EMDR session yesterday where I worked on the day that the social worker came to pick my sister and me up and take us into the first foster home.
I was three and a half.
What I'm learning to do--is parent--myself. I've had terrible parenting--not my parents fault--they were both mentally ill--but nonetheless--I'm learning how to parent my infant, my three year old, my seven year old and my fourteen year old inner children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom
Hi sky dancer,
Welcome to PC! Glad you found us but sorry you had to.
I understand the whole "functioning well" thingy. I used to say to my T if anyone I worked with ever knew what was really going on with me, they would never believe it. I was the hardest working and was highly regarded in my position/s. But that was how I coped. I worked and worked and worked so I didn't have time to look at all the crap.
I could've written that with one exception. I hadn't dealt with my childhood abuse. I wouldn't, at the time, even acknowledge it. I kept busy at work and didn't have time to peek behind the curtain.
I was not officially dx'ed with PTSD until I was in my thirties (only after I sought help) and after learning about the symptoms and causes, I can now date the onset back to when I was around nine. I am amazed I lasted as long as I did without help and had my brothers not died, I probably never would've gotten help in the first place.
I really have no words of wisdom or helpful advice, but I wanted you to know I read your story and I hear you. 
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