Take a deep breath.

First of all, you need to recognize that this is not all your fault. Boyfriend A broke up with *you*. I'm sure that situation alone put you into some serious emotional turmoil, especially since the two of you were living together and committed to longevity. When you broke up, you found comfort in someone else. It happens, right? You were broken up with Boyfriend A and Boyfriend B came along. You recognized right away that your feelings for Boyfriend B weren't serious and you let him know as much. No harm done.

I am giving kudos to you because throughout all of this you have been totally honest with both men.

First, cut off ties to Boyfriend B. Let him know that you felt that what he did bordered harassment and you are not happy about it. If he continues you will get the law involved.

Write a letter to Boyfriend A (or talk to him) about all of the feelings you had from June of 08 (the breakup) to when the two of you got back together. Let him know that you cannot control the actions of others. He didn't want details and you didn't give him any. How could you know that Boyfriend B would pull a fatal attraction move on you? You didn't.

If he wants to get back together with you, then all things (including the initial breakup) need to be hashed out between the two of you. After that has been done (and not a moment before), then you two can start on a clean slate.

I understand why he has hurt feelings and I am not telling you to be insensitive to those feelings. But you must only take responsibility for the feelings that are yours to take responsibility of.

We women have a tendency to take the world upon our shoulders and to take the blame for everything under the sun...even the weather. If we could manage to compartmentalize those feelings, I think we'd all be better off. But alas, it's not how we roll.

Good luck!