Hi there!!

Yes, you are in the initial, painful stages of "bipolar realisation"(I call it). It is like someone is punching you in the head constantly, well, thats how it felt for me........Everyone here has had a similar bipolar initiation.......I have not known anyone that welcomed it with open arms.......

Babe, you are afraid........and that is completely normal........whatever you might think intellectually of your illness, your safety is your first priority.......so go to the hospital if you need to.......do not delay!

I suffered intense grief after my dx for about 6 months as I had already battled for 15 years with 2 other mental illnesses. I was dx bipolar 2007

I had to give up my degree and my job, not to mention being hospitalised for the 12th time in the last 15 years. The toll on my family was enormous, especially my son.

As with everything, especially biploar, it is all cyclic. I know you are in a terrible place but the revolution shall change again, into something new.

Have faith........and be SAFE!!

Let us know you are okay...........