((((Chaotic))))

I believe that humans are inherently self-regulating and self-healing. At our core, there is a light and beauty that is stunning. Where the damage comes from is trying to hold that light inside...whether through conformity or abuse or judgement.

You don't have to process everything that is coming out right now. Just let it come out. Love the part of yourself that is expressing itself through your drawings and emotions. The intellectual side of you may want to assign meaning right now, because that is what it is used to doing.

Give that part of yourself the kindness and compassion that a child who is just exploring the world deserves. Imagine yourself being proud of that child for drawing and being so creative. Give her praise and positivity and safety.

I often think of it as a dance. Both parts of me move...first one..then the other. It is a slow and gentle negotiation back and forth between trying to understand and just trying to let it all out. Your emotional side is obviously taking the lead right now, so try to enjoy this part of the dance, before your intellectual side takes over again.

If you get overwhelmed, stop and breathe. Take some time to be with nature. Feel the sun on your skin, or play in some dirt. Play with an animal, notice how the breeze feels as it whispers across your face. Put some stones in your pockets, and notice them or rub them throughout the day.

I'm guessing that the 'evil' you feel inside, that really base feeling, is fear. Fear is a protector, but it is not bad, it just wants you to be safe. Ask that feeling how you can be safe *and* let these feelings out.

Many warm and supportive thoughts for you.