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Actually my T does the rhetorical question thing in an attempt to validate my feelings. I tease him about a lot because he does it a lot!!! I know that he does it because I invalidate myself a lot-- I say things like, "I shouldn't..." or "I am supposed to..." So he inserts those crappy rhetorical questions in attempt of validation. It has gotten to the point where I almost always know when he is going to insert one so one time I told him to save his oxygen and not say them anymore.
As far as my T being distracted-- he would never talk on the phone with any of his clients if someone else was in the room.
I honestly think that he just felt helpless. And I think it is okay for me to feel angry at that. It is natural to look for help, imagining and hoping that someone can ease the pain.
If I put myself in T's shoes, I imagine it is extremely difficult. I am crying over the phone, stating that I want someone back who is deceased. I tell him that I can't do this anymore. What could he say or do? What did I need from him? Maybe before I make these types of phone calls I need to figure out what I need.
I think what made me angry was that his silence came after I told him that I needed someone to experience this with me in a way that I wouldn't feel so alone.
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