(((((((((((Poohbear)))))))))))))
I do not have co consciousness and my T didn't tell me anything either, but I didn't want to know. She always said that the brain put the information behind barriers for a reason and when my brain was ready to deal with it, it would come forward. I've never had any idea of what was happening when I wasn't present so it didn't upset me so much, at least not in the beginning.
As I got more awareness of what goes on for me, it did make me feel anxious and upset though.
As far as these:
Quote:
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What if I do something that is inappropriate? What if I hurt someone or something? What if I do something to embarass myself or others? What if I do something and it upsets my Ts and they don't want to to work with me anymore?
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I've done things that are inappropriate (present and not), I've hurt people (not physically but in other ways) and I've hurt things. I've embarrassed myself both being present and finding out later about things. Unfortunately it's a fact of life with dissociation and in every day life for most people I think. For me, it's always happened, I just didn't have the awareness. Awareness is hard. It means I have to really look at things and when it's something I can't control, it makes it even harder. But without awareness, no steps forward can be made.
The thing with T's is, they are neutral. If your Ts are any good, you won't upset them. Trauma Ts know that people react certain ways and if they have any knowledge of dissociation, they will understand.
The only advice I can give is take one day at a time. The longer you go to T and the more consistent T is, the more you will be able to trust. The more you are able to trust, the more safe you will feel. The more safe you feel, the more you will be able to open up. And that is what will lead to healing, imo.
Hang in there Poohbear. We understand.
