I don't know why I have stayed away so much. Maybe avoidance. It's cool though. My doc spoke with me Monday about trying topamax or lamictal for the anxiety inside that starts in my body. It makes me unable to sit still, have to keep stalking around house checking to make sure animals etc are all okay. It is a feeling that I have quite a bit, seems to come and go in periods. I don't have flashbacks in the traditioanl sense, it's like my body tells me to watch out. I see that some others are given these meds for PTSD. Wondering if anyone here has personal experience.

I also have been telling myself that this is as good as it gets and that I will always have some degree of pain and anxiety. I know this is self defeating but I actually believe it. So, I am waiting to hear from the pharacist to see if these meds have talc in them as I am very allergic. I lean toward topamax due to benefit with weight since neurontin for pain has made me blow up like a balloon in the last 2 years.

I don't think a lot about my trauma, I simply feel hypervigilant. Not a good feeling.