Quote:
Originally Posted by Luce
She also asked if I felt it were possible to develop a connection with her, or if I thought I would be able to with someone else.
|
I would find this offputting and it might even make me feel hopeless, inadequate.
Quote:
|
I think I have developed the beginnings of a connection
|
That is great. Were you able to share that with her?
Quote:
|
I know I don't trust much ( at all, really) and that what feels 'comfortable' for *me* likely feels like an aloof awkwardness to others... but it's kind of as much as I can give right now.
|
I think the T needs to be able to meet you where you are at right now.
Quote:
|
...I do not know her thoughts on DID... whether she adheres to the trauma model or the sociocultural model (therapy induced)... and I (we) am afraid to show those parts or talk about them because we fear her rejection ... and she replied with this speil about how recent research has shown that schizophrenia is not genetic, and is triggered by environmental factors, blah blah blah, and "does that answer your question?"
|
She doesn't know that DID and schizophrenia are not the same? Scary. Also, schizophrenia has both genetic and environmental components. I think a good question to her would be, "If is true that you believe DID and schizophrenia are the same thing?" If she said yes, it would seem to suggest she doesn't know the basics of psychology.
Rapunzel, I agree with all your wrote on countertransference. I have never heard of any sort of "rule of therapy" that says discussing countertransference in session is not permissible. My T has done it a number of times, and it was very helpful. He will "own up to" having some countertransference, and will say something about it right on the spot. It helps me to see him struggle a bit and own his feelings. It shows he is human, an active participant in therapy, is engaged with me so much that he is feeling his own stuff, and that he is not an immovable log sitting there on the couch opposite me. Luce, I'm not sure what your T shared is quite in the same category but it bears more discussion, I think, if it left you feeling confused. My T has told me that he can really let himself listen to me by listening to himself deeply and what comes up for him in response to me. It tells him a lot about me, which perhaps seems counterintuitive, but if it helps him understand me and my relationships, then great.
Quote:
|
I am too scared to show her the alts in case she rejects them (doesn't believe in the trauma model and therefore thinks I am 'lying'), and yet when I hide the alts (and their emotion etc) from her she feels that I am not being real (which I suppose I am not).
|
I think this is very insightful. It may be very confusing to her to be having this reaction to the hidden alts (feeling you are not being real) when perhaps she doesn't even believe in alts (subscribes to the sociocultural model). This would really present a conflict for her. I do think if this is the case, supervision would be a good idea. I think it would be great if you could share the interpretation you made with her.