I had a really hard time with all the powerless stuff in 12-step programs too. I know it works for some people, but not for everyone. Helplessness and powerlessness have been my themes throughout my life, and I need less of that, not more. There is some good stuff in CBT (which is very different from 12-steps). It doesn't sound like you are getting a lot of CBT. If you are interested in books, you might look for the ones from David Burns for CBT information.

Even though I didn't like 12-steps, I relate to being an adult child of a dysfunctional family. Books on that have helped me, such as "Healing the Child Within" and "A Gift To Myself" by Charles Whitfield. Those books mention 12-step concepts, but are more psychodynamic, and help you to understand how growing up in a way that doesn't allow you to be fully who you are limits you as an adult, and how you can recover.

I don't know what issues you are dealing with, or if you like using books to help with your therapy, etc. I think that your therapist sounds open to feedback on what kind of treatment you would like. It takes a bit to find that out, for both you and the T. If something isn't working for you, tell her. If there is something you feel is missing, tell her that too. Therapy is ultimately work that you have to do for yourself. The T is there to help you with your work, but that's really all that any T can do. The more self-directed you are, the better you will do in therapy and the more it will help you to accomplish your goals.