You're very strong for saying what you need. Trial separations may work to filter out the issues and bring them to the surface. It isn't cheap to do - I did it myself in '05 for 3-months. The marriage continues on and is ok - but isn't something to write home about.

The OCD is one thing, but he may need to get a full DSM-IV diagnosis - maybe it's Narcissism (hard to cure) or maybe it's something else.

Good luck with it - but live your life. While the separation occurs - do things *for you* while he's out. Do hobbies, be with friends and don't sit around. Live the way you've wanted to live and prove to yourself how wonderful this world really is without being hindered and limited by family issues.

I actually enjoyed my 3-mo separation but it was work too. It helped me see how much my family meant to me (including my 2 kids) and that family comes first even if the world is far more interesting. I don't put my marriage first just yet, but I do make sure the kids are growing well and I'm really proud of them.

How to get him to leave - stand your ground. "We have agreed on a 6-mo trial separation. You have to get on with that - or we will have to use lawyers which is far more painful."