Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7
this may sound a bit weird - but if anyone has any ideas I would
be grateful - my sister was in a verbally abusive relationship - she left him about 6 months ago after about 25 years - they used to drink a lot - he slowed down but she still drank - "to cope with him"
I understand that - she still has a few drinks in the evening now she has left him - when she drinks she repeats herself a lot and it gets so anything i say can be taken the wrong way -
when they used to drink when I was there - they would always get into a screaming match - and I would try to keep the kids out of it - but they have ears! - this used to trigger me to my childhood - I cant stand shouting - and now when she rings and has been drinking I am always waiting for her to take somthing I have said the wrong way - when she's not drinking we get on really well - I've tried mentioning it to her but as her husband used to say she drank too much she thinks im on his side - which im not - it gets so I dread the phone ringing.... any ideas?
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I'm wondering what someone who goes to Al-Anon would say?
My first response would be to talk to your sister when she's sober and tell her that you love her and want to have contact with her, but you can't talk to her when she's been drinking.
Before my father committed suicide, he used to call me drunk and tell me dirty jokes. My friend said she knew it was him because she would watch me curl up into a fetal ball.
Since you are aware of your own PTSD recovery process, you have to take care of yourself. You aren't doing your sister any good if she causes you that much stress that you're afraid to answer the phone.
Do you have caller ID? You could at least know whether she's calling, and then be able to decide if you feel strong enough to take her call--not knowing if she's drunk or not.
If you're not careful, you could end up being a co-combatant with her.
Keep us posted on how things go for you.
I cannot have any contact with any of my family of origin. None of them.
Humpty dumpty fell off the freakin' wall and no amount of kings horses and therapy are going to put our family back together again. Sad, but true.
My family make me completely crazy.
Right now, my healing is my number one priority.