hi cap, was going to read but saw your post. glad you shared. think we all protect our sobriety especially when the bells and whistles go off. a good thing to do. i believe from your posts that u are in a 12 step program of recovery. still got those phone numbers? call a few and talk about it. it will help. make a meeting if u feel up to it and share. we all have these moments. u've got a healthy fear about where all this stuff can take us, so i think you'll be just fine. and if a higher power is in your life...throw up some prayers. they always help me.
i had spinal fusion surgery in 2004. i didn't know until after the operation and i was home that they had to give me tons of morphine. i was terrified hearing that. i too had not wanted to take pain meds at home but this op required that i do. everything turned out a-ok.
sending gentle hugs and hope you are on the mend real soon.