So I wrote this and its helped me sort things out a bit - and of course all of you guys helped too - thankyou

I don't understand

why does this sadness hang around
if i could cry - i'd probably drown
words people say dance round in my head
making me want to just hide in my bed

she said helpless and powerless
I dont understand
Ive taken as much as I think I can stand

I may lay down for a rest or two
but I get up fighting
its somthing i do

so why did she say with a smile on her face
I cannot help you
this isnt the place

she said she could help me
then withdrew her hand
I guess it was my fault
I dont understand....

her words chase around and around in my head
helpless and powerless
thats what she said....

the spiral im in wont make me feel better
this cannot be fixed by sending a letter
so I'll just have to say STOP!!!
let her words flow away
amazing you're hurt
by the words people say.

But maybe its not the words that were said
that rattle and prattle around in my head
maybe its the gaps the things that arnt said
that cause all this turmoil inside of my head

now how can I fix this,
prove her wrong to the letter
I know what I'LL do
I WILL GET BETTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!