Quote:
Originally Posted by ktbug
As some of you may know, I was abused in my past. I am in a relationship of 2 1/2 years. I have told my boyfriend of the abuse and besides all of you, he's the only one I told. Here's the problem, I have severe trust issues. It's kind of ironic because I trust him enough to tell him my deepest darkest secret but yet I constantly think that he is cheating. I thought that maybe after telling him this that I can trust, but it's a different kind of trust. I don't know if it's because his friends cheat? I so deeply want to believe that he isn't but I have doubts. It's tearing apart our relationship. I don't know if I should seek help? I want it to stop!!! Please help.  |
There are a few of us who have this ... almost exact problem. If you go to the anxiety board you will see mine, and a few others who are having problems with trust. Mine stems from ppl leaving me, my mum, a very close G/F, and a wife who just up and divorced me.
You need to find a therapist hon! You have some things to deal with that you just can't do on your own. Speaking from experience, my wife went 32 years without telling anyone what had happened to her, and it's taken her 35 years to finally go to a T and get it worked out. Don't wait, find a T now and work on your past issues and your trust.
As for the trust issues, in reality, has he ever made you feel distrustful of him, or are you like me, you see something that makes you think, "Hrrmm...I wonder.", whilst all the time knowing the truth, he's not cheating, but your emotions get the best of you, your feelings, stuff from the past, all running through your head?
You have a hard road ahead, it won't be easy, three things...
1. Communication - If you love this guy and want to stay with him, you have to communicate. Tell him what's up, why you feel insecure, and that you have trust issues because of what happened. I know you said you told him what happened, but did you let him know you have problems because of it?
2. When you start thinking thoughts that aren't rational, stop thinking about what's not real, and tell yourself the truth. Then do something to take your mind off it. Watch TV, sing some songs on the radio, do work, whatever it takes. He's not out to hurt you, I would hope, and just because all his friends cheat doesn't mean he is/will.
3. Find that therapist. Nuff said there as I have already explained why.
GL and God bless!
