I had the same problem with T's not wanting to go there - it was explained to me that they want us to deal with what is troubling us now and learn to live for now - mindfulness - being in the moment

I wanted someone to explain why I had no memories - except for one i would rather forget - - I wanted them back -- I was told be careful what you wish for - I was in hospital a lot as a child - from jaundice when i was born to scarlet fever - I had febrile seizures and was given ECT when I was about 5 - apparently I would come home and not know anyone - just sit there still and quiet trying to be invisible - hospital can be a traumatic place for a child - I was in and out of hospital from birht to about 6 - from what im told - yes I think those things affect us now and have changed how we view the world - yes it sounds like ptsd - no you are not alone in this

your pdoc not wanting to tlak about this I can understand - but your T - have you explained how much you really need to deal with this ? if its affecting your present then it needs to be dealt with - I can understand how frustrated you feel when you ask for help and get none - maybe you can explain to your T just how important it is to you to discuss this stuff - even if you only discuss the way it makes you feel now

I hope things improve for you soon P7