Hi StephanieDV,
I am sorry for all the problems you have had to endure - and I think it is very brave to come here and share your story with us - its a good start which I hope will lead to you talking with a psychologist to help you through this
PC Central is a great place for information and support - and here you will find people who can relate to different parts of what has happened to you - or the feelings attached to the event - we support each other here.
take care and know that you are not alone P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet