Quote:
Originally Posted by ihateit
I am not sure if this is the place to do this. I did a search and I haven't seen anyone talk about what I am going to say.
Ok, here's my story...
Has anyone else had a loved one they have delt with that has done something similar to this? Thast has PTSD? How did you handle it? My wife is my world, my heart and my soul belong to her, and I want to help her get the best help for her PTSD and to make her trust in me again, and that no matter what happens, I am here for her.
Thank you in advance for any help or suggestions.
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From the other side of the fence.
I could definitely write the "she said" side to your "he said" side. I am a PTSD woman married for many years to a controlling husband with anger issues.
I have my own issues...so no finger pointing here (I have a hard time expressing myself when it is a sensitive issue, I am always afraid people think I am attacking them).
I hope in your therapy or discussions you have asked your wife specifically how you can be there for her. Please don't assume you know what she needs. People with PTSD often have a need to please, to acquiesce or generally not make waves (or when they finally make waves they make monsoons).
So, if you haven't asked her, please do. And ask for specific examples, ask what it would look like to you to "be there" for her.
If you can't remember what she says then ask her to write it down. Carry it with you. If you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with her, review what she wrote before starting. PTSD people often have triggers that will cause them to shut down.
You could also offer to share with your wife what she could do to be there for you. Again, write it down. After 21 years I still cannot "read" my husband and often make poor choices in communicating with him.
I wish you the best. I hope it works out for you.