Quote:
Originally Posted by StephanieDV
I do believe that part of the reason why I am so negative about healing is because I want to beleive there really isn't anything wrong with me, I think i'm just a perfectionist at heart, and if something is wrong, then all is wrong. For me to express that I think or know there is a problem is me thinking it's a sign of weakness. That something is wrong with me, and I don't want to face that.
my mother wasnt just my mother she was my best friend. Even to this day I hate doing things on my own, and it's embarrassing, and it's because I've always had my mom by my side to do it, and now I feel like i'm on my own, and I can't break out of cycles of fear, even to go to the store on my own because I know I will suffer with alot of Anxiety.
It was very scary, but even talking about it I have no feeling. It's like a wow, sometimes I do get that feeling like man I'm gonna explode about this, but then I hold back and it goes away completely. It's like my mind just shuts off to emotion. I don't understand.
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Stephanie, there is nothing wrong with having issues that need to be worked through. It wasn't your fault that your mom's anxiety affected you while you were developing. Think about it. You were developing and what you learned from your mom is that there is a lot of danger out there. This belief affected your development. It happened and this is the way it was and now you are living with the results. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I had to overcome all sorts of issues........
As for your brother, everyone is different and are affected by things differently. I hope that doctor's appt. turns into some therapy for you!
I can understand how you have detached from your feelings. Our minds do amazing things in order to survive.
I am so glad that that house invasion was stopped. Your mom sounds very competent. She was brave and she did everything very well and this kept you all safe. She sounds like an amazing woman.