Hi poison, thanks for the kind words... it helps... "It" is simply my acting in ways which would not be seen as beneficial or helpful to anyone. Some of you might be surprised to hear the things I've done and what an *** I can be in real life. But that's the fact -- I'm human, I make mistakes. I look now and say, "I would never do that again," but the fact is, I will never be given another chance with this woman. And that saddens me.

At least it doesn't look like I will.

I hope I've learned something from this relationship, but it's getting to the point in my life where I feel like despite all I've learned, I'm just not the right kind of a person maybe for a relationship. Period. That saddens me too, but it's beginning to seem and feel like that way.

John