Iris, I don't think that you are doing anything wrong. I am very happy that you are meeting your needs. But, yeah, your guilt is from that?

Our parents were messed up and they messed up our lives and we are now doing the work and healing but they never did. They are still where they always were. There is no need to go back into the hole for them. They didn't meet our needs. How much guilt do we see from them resulting from that? Yeah, none........ I can see helping them a bit if it doesn't hurt you but if it is going to suck the life out of you, absolutely not!

So they hung up as soon as they heard that you couldn't come? Did they show concern for your cold or for your upcoming surgery?