Her "T" won't lable her with PTSD because he said there are only two ways you can get PTSD, if you have been to war, or if you have seen someone close to you die a horrible death.

Your wife's t is entirely wrong about this. There are many conditions that can cause PTSD besides war and witnessing death. In fact, Complex PTSD can happen as an accumulation of smaller, less life threatening events that accumulate over a long period of time. Also, very sensitive people are more prone to PTSD from bad experiences because things affect them so much deeper.

I have Complex PTSD and I was never in a war or witnessed a horrible death. I was never raped. However, I grew up in a house where my emotional needs were very neglected, where I was let go to figure out life on my own without being given guidance, instruction, or discipline on how to live. I wasn't shown how to express or deal with negative emotions, my mom never noticed my internal pain, I was molested by a neighbor, and I moved 10 times and went to 8 different schools by the time I graduated, which resulted in many feelings of loss. I've also experienced some very bad betrayals by persons I've deeply trusted in the past. So, for me, it's not just one big trauma that caused my PTSD. It was the ongoing daily, weekly, yearly experiences of feeling neglected, unloved, confused, anxious, and trust gone awry.