I see that most of us are aware of our problems. Thats good. The fact that you made this post means you don`t want to do this anymore.

What you mentioned about your family reminds me of somehting - can this habbit be something that started in your childhood? You parrents/family members never thank you and never appreciate this care, this attention you show them when giving the presents.

One reby was talking about kid`s transiiton from his....essence, nature? to the image, pattern, template... ( i just used dictionary for taht, and choose the word that seem to sute, hope you understand)

A child is dependent on parents love and approval so he does everything to please them. Then - as adolts - we may precieve all the others around us, subconciously, as we did our parents.

The conflics is between your truth and the people you meet. The tools he sugests to learn are

a. start thinking what do you want
b. Learn to ask for it
c. speak sentenses with the word "I", "me".
d. Reveal feelings and weaknesses.
e. Learn to say no. to disappoint, to bother.

I have a trouble with the last line myself.