whew it sounds like you guys have some relationship stuff goin' on. idk know what to suggest since you can't see a t right now. there are community programs and things run by the county you might look into to get some counseling together and apart..unfortunately when we get into a relationship and bring some baggage with us, it makes for difficulties.
the other thing you all can do is to pick certain times a week that you sit and chat. in order to do this well it's important to use the "i" word rather than "YOU". keep your points on how you feel not what the other person is doing wrong. this is not as easy as it sounds. but thought i'd throw that out to you. you all can do this if you're both committed to barring the "you" word when you talk. maybe each have a sign to hold up when the other gets off track. if you have a good sense of humor this can work.
keep us posted, we care. and welcome to pc by the way!!!