From the other side of the fence.

I could definitely write the "she said" side to your "he said" side. I am a PTSD woman married for many years to a controlling husband with anger issues. No more anger, no more controlling...like I said in my previous post, if you would like to track what's up, check the PTSD and Anxiety sections. I'm 100% better, because I understand what I did and was doing to her and us.

I have my own issues...so no finger pointing here (I have a hard time expressing myself when it is a sensitive issue, I am always afraid people think I am attacking them). Naw, you're trying to help, why would I think you were attacking me?

I hope in your therapy or discussions you have asked your wife specifically how you can be there for her. Please don't assume you know what she needs. People with PTSD often have a need to please, to acquiesce or generally not make waves (or when they finally make waves they make monsoons). I have done extensive research into PTSD, and we have had many talks. I know why she does what she does, and am learning to not take these thing personally. Again tho, if you would like to track us, check the other 2 forums.

So, if you haven't asked her, please do. And ask for specific examples, ask what it would look like to you to "be there" for her.

If you can't remember what she says then ask her to write it down. Carry it with you. If you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with her, review what she wrote before starting. PTSD people often have triggers that will cause them to shut down.

You could also offer to share with your wife what she could do to be there for you. Again, write it down. After 21 years I still cannot "read" my husband and often make poor choices in communicating with him.

We are good, as good as it was when we were first together and for the first three years of our marriage, except for her PTSD, but with her new P-Doc, and me with my T and understanding...it's all good. Thank you for caring and posting tho, it means a lot!

I wish you the best. I hope it works out for you.