Hello Cramer --

Reading this thread, I felt that Myzen's response was a breath of fresh air. I felt as if I was in the confusion and pain with you -- maybe he's abusive, maybe he's not -- swirling around in me.

Myzen's approach opened up some emotional distance for me, just reading it.

The two clear thoughts I have are:

1. As part of the "giving her space" approach (should you decide to try it), might you also take the children one or two of those nights? This would build your relationship with them as well as give her some alone-time.

2. Do you two still love each other? I read a lot about wanting to "work" on a relationship. But devoting oneself to working on a relationship, if love is gone, sounds like too much work.

But what do I know about relationships. Haven 't had one nor dated for 2 years. And I don't have any children.