((( Locust )))

Usually when people block out their emotions it is because something has made it too painful or difficult to feel the emotions, so they learn not to. It could be because of intense grief or trauma, or also because your experience has been that if you express emotions you get them rejected or invalidated, which also hurts. You sound like someone who has grown up in an invalidating environment, and, as a lot of people who grow up that way do, you learned to invalidate your own emotions. Emotions become confusing and you question what you really feel, or wonder if it could be mostly hormones instead, and your expression of emotion doesn't match your interpretation of it. Sound about right? That's a very painful way to live, which could result in cutting off emotions again.

To heal from this, you need to become more aware of your emotions and learn to trust them. Give yourself permimssion to feel the way that you feel. Hormones might make emotions more intense, but you still feel how you feel. It's still you. Yes, emotions are represented in the brain by chemical signals, but that doesn't mean that they are any less real. The emotions can cause the chemical changes just as well as the other way around. Everything that you do causes chemical changes in your brain. It's still you acting and feeling and thinking.

Expressing emotions is important too, and having them understood and validating, as well as validating yourself. Expressing them out loud and having them heard strengthens your ability to feel what you feel.