I think it's natural to want to compare our therapy to other people's...and look for areas where out therapist comes up short....or worse, for "proof" that they don't *really* care about us!!

I go through phases where I quiz T on what therapy is like with his other clients. Does he draw with them?? (I noticed pastels on his desk). How many other people have a marble? Does anyone else dissociate? Does he hate it when I dissociate?

I did ask him if I was his favorite dissociative client. LOL - He laughed and OBVIOUSLY didn't answer. I was like "well, is there ONE client that you like less than me?" and he said yes, but laughed that now I would use that against him, like "oh great, I'm T's second least favorite client" (I didn't go there btw).

T tries to make me understand that my hour is my hour, and that what goes on during that hour is what matters. That during that hour, *I* am his most important client, and he is there totally for me. Somehow, I seem to have accepted that for right now.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Echoes)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I'm sorry you're having a hard time with T right now.