Summoning the magic......om.......ok, don't know if I have any magical words of comfort, but I do want to say that in all your infinite wisdom you have been such a help to so many here, that now is your time draw strength. You have been through so much! I don't understand why some people are given so many challenges. I think with the strength of your family that you'll get through it. I know hubby must be so eternally greatful to you! It is so understandable to have some resentment towards the whole situation. I don't think it's lack of caring at all. You don't have resentment toward him and it's definetly not that you're not greatful he's ok. But the situation is so stressful that it feels as though you're resenting him. I had the same battle with my conscience when my mom was sick. I was so resentful of the cancer and just the plain unfairness of it all, that I thought I was resenting her, but I wasn't at all! You're still taking pleasure in the simple things, watching the dogs run around and play, and enjoying hearing about your daughter's retreat, so you're still in there somewhere, happy and healthy! The girls will understand about the satellite tv, it really is overkill on cable eh? The goats will be ok if you have to give them up. I understand having to give up the things you love though. It's so hard. But the outcome will be well worth it when you're back on your feet.

This too shall pass. I know it's hard to believe, since it seems like when one hardship is overcome, you get thrown another one. Just remember that you've made it through the other things, and maybe after this, you'll get a rest.

My thoughts and prayers are with you wise and hubby. I hope a little fairness is thrown your way and you get some time to relax. Swim, eat well, walk, drink water, and let yourself have some chocolate for heavens sake! You deserve it!!!!