Hello Echoes,

you sound impatient with yourself. There seems to be a strong inner conflict working right now of the kind "I don't want what I really want". Or of the kind "I really don't want (yet) what I want".

How can this be solved? Giving yourself simply more time is an option, but this requires of course patience and a wide time scale that is not always as wide as one would wish.

Pushing oneself will not do - at least it never did with me, because when I tried to force myself into something, I only even did more sophisticated escaping and sabotaging.

Trying again and again and looking what happens was my personal breakthrough method. I went into the situation that raised my internal conflict machinery, I did not avoid the confrontation with that, and I did so without expecting too much in order to minimize home-made pressure.

In the end, I don't know why and maybe never will, it just happened. It took time to get ready for that, and wanting it happen indicates that the time of solving the knot is near.

Good luck to you,
bluenarciss