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Old Mar 08, 2009, 04:19 PM
sky dancer sky dancer is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Posts: 327
Quote:
Originally Posted by tablarosa View Post
I am looking for some insight.

I am a PTSD "survivor???? (not sure if the "survivor" moniker is correct but I am still here so what else???)

Anyway for most of my life my way of coping with situations has been the "flight" mode --- run away...bury my head...make nice..... hoping whatever will go away.

In the past month stuff has just gone upside down.....and all of a sudden I am responding to uncomfortable situations more with "fight" than "flight."

In a way I kind of like it...macabre as that sounds...but I honestly don't know how to reel it in, so to speak.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it?
I've had all three as a PTSD survivor: fight, flight and freeze. Freeze is that deer in the headlights thing, or what a mouse does with a cat--playing dead.

I acted out my 'fight' thing on political forums which I got addicted to. There I would go, putting on my sword and shield, considering myself a champion for justice, and deliberately pick the most unpopular political opinion to argue.

This kept me from fighting with people in face to face 'real life'.

What I'm trying to do now, is drop the internet fighting addiction, and it's starting to work.

What always helps me is to do something physical--like a long walk, or a hike or a bike ride. Something that lets me be in my body and be with my feelings--however 'unacceptable' I think they are--and just let it pass through.

It does help to have support--other people with PTSD to talk to--a therapist--sometimes even medication.

What my therapist asks me to do is to find out if what I'm feeling is rage or anger. They're different. Rage comes from being violated, and feeling helpless or impotent--powerless. Rage isn't good to express--because it's more about the violation or hurt--and getting to the more tender feelings helps the rage subside.

Rage can lead to violence--and you don't want that. Either to be violent or to be on the recieiving end of someone else's violence.

Anger can be healthy to express--it can clear the air. Especially if you can communicate skillfully.

I don't know if any of this is helpful--but I'm certainly closely familiar with rage and anger within myself as I go through healing from PTSD.