My mom will be gone 2 years on April 27th. She was killed in a horrible car accident on the way to work. I remember getting the call and I was driving, I pulled over on the side of the road and just sat there screaming until someone came to get me. I drove to my mom's house where she lived and where my grandmother lived (my mom was taking care of her). On the way, I could see the traffic on the other side of the freeway backed up for miles and miles. It happened in the morning, but the freeway was still closed that afternoon. I remember thinking about my mom on the freeway alone, dead in the car on a freeway. I wondered if she knew that she was going to die, was she in pain, was she afraid. I still think these things. I want to talk to her, I want to see her. I feel people think I should be over it. I have been having nightmares, anxiety attacks, and depression since December. It hit me like a freight train out of nowhere. I thought the grieving was over. I went to my doctor and he gave me AD and some medication to help with anxiety, but I am still suffering. I thought about going to a psychiatrist bc I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks most of my llfe and I feel they would be better equipped to prescribe and treat me with the right medications. The medications seemed to work at first, but now I am feeling bad again. And on top of that, my son tried to kill himself last Friday and he just got out of the treatment center. I am under a tremendous amount of stress, dealing with the death of my mother after two years and dealing with the fear of my son trying to kill himself again. I don't know what to do.