may be some triggers in here.

I'm hurting so much... I thought about my life so far. It's been a constant trail of decay. I'm incapable of anything now... I can't .. I CAN't. I'm barely keeping myself from harm. I barely want to anymore. Anythign to make hte pain stop.

I want to get better. I've been trying so hard. But I just can't.

Where is the path to getting better. Because I am NOT on it.

I have gotten worse. I really have. I"m supposed to be getting better. My time is DEDICATED to getting better. I can't sleep right, I can't eat right. Let alone any of the "normal" stuff people do. Like get a job, go to school, associate with other human beings.

I don't know what to do anymore...
I can barely tust my T, we're planning on talking about the dissociation next time. But wht can shepossibly do, what has she done?

so lost, and hurting

and the last post in my blog shows the line of destruction, though I expect none to read.