thank you both for your replies... i'm just feeling overwhelmed, I can't get to sleep , I got up at 5am and its 2:30 am so i should be able to. but I can't. It's almost like I want to trigger myself, and get mad at myself so I can get some relief. And I threw up, I've been trying not to do that for so long.

so overwhelmed...

*hugs everyone if it's ok*