Quote:
Originally Posted by Shelle
You should probably work on yourself at this point. She said she is not in love with you anymore so why do you want to make her stay in a situation that makes her unhappy deep down inside? Do you not believe in fighting for the ones you love...I feel sorry for you if you don't...it's not selfish, it's knowing in your heart that things are going to be ok, it's a setback, and many marriages have major problems...wow, I feel sorry for you if you don't have it in you to fight for the ones you love. Isn't that a bit selfish? If she is not in love with you and you truly love her perhaps you two should seperate and let her discover if in being on her own she has any realizations or change of heart in her feelings for you. She needs to work on her own resentments and resolve them herself. All you can do is work on yourself and make your own changes and thats all she can do to. You can appreciate or even love the way you feel about yourself when your with her but if you don't feel good about yourself without her then there is a problem. I think you should work on your own issues without the guarantee that she is staying. Also one of the loving things you can do is to allow her not to feel guilty for how she feels and the changes she may need to make to heal her anger.
|
Umm, I don't mean to sound mean, or ... whatever, but perhaps if you knew the full story and read all the posts...you wouldn't make me feel like crap, and you wouldn't be giving advice that has no relevance what so ever. My wife and I are fine...check out this post itself, and
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=89984. Even if you had read this whole post, you would know my wife and I are fine, we are together, and everything is as good as it ever has been, with a few minor exceptions, which with her therapy should be fixed. I am sorry, but it's really one of my pet peeves, if someone doesn't know the whole story and just chimes in like they know what's up...just doesn't sit right with me. I am not meaning to offend, but really, what part of all this did you miss? Here's a quote from one of my earlier posts just in this thread alone... "Heh, I think you should look up my posts in PTSD and Anxiety. My wife and I are fine.
I have researched PTSD and understand, even if I can't completely empathize with her because it didn't happen to me, why she does what she does. We have totally reconciled, as in she and I have had a few talks, she loves me, today as much as she did 11 years ago..."
I also had to add here...if you know anything about PTSD and it's symptoms...
1. She avoids confrontation. This lead to a build up of anger and she said a lot of things she didn't mean because she was so mad (her words), I made her hit her breaking point, and I did a 180 that very second.
2. She is numb, a lot.
3. She is detached, not just from me, but from her children. Off and on, especially when we're not around (out of sight out of mind kinda thing), she does think of us, but not as often or as much as she'd like too (her words).
Take care and God Bless.