((((MissC)))

You're memories are about the important part--what your childhood felt like.

I told T tonight that I worry because I don't remember and I'm afraid I never will. Lately though I remember my childhood through others, that is I remember I was 5 when my brother left home, 7 when he married, 8 when he had his first child, 12 when my other brother married, etc. So maybe it's a start? And I wondered if it bugged T that I don't remember or if something's wrong with me (geez maybe I need therapy, huh). On top of that, it's the 2 year mark. She said she isn't bothered by it at all and it will come when I am ready.

I've also had sessions where I just cry. No words, just quiet sobbing. I apologized during one of those sessions and she said "It's okay. It's what is there right now. You might need to do this sometimes, you might need to do this for a long time." It is the preverbal memories, I think. I think when we had too much to deal with and no one to talk to, that is how our memories manifested themselves.