T and I have decided to try making one of our sessions each week 90 minutes for a month to see how it goes. So I will have one 90 minute session a week and one regular session.

Today was the first 90 minute session. I know I totally dissociated during it, because at one point he was sitting in his chair across the room and then he was next to me, holding my hands. I don't know how much time passed (it didn't even occur to me to ask until just now). When I zoned back in to what was going on, I told him I felt kind of "half-there" - which is how I usually feel when I leave,and it SUCKS. We had time to get me totally regrounded before I left, which was SO awesome.

I did have a RAGING migraine for the rest of the day - that was really the only bad part - but I think for the most part, the 90 minute thing worked. T told me a bit of what happened while I was "gone". I wasn't sure how much I wanted to know, actually....he said we mostly talked about his hands and whether they were safe (?!).

Oh - at the beginning of the appointment, I told him ALL the things he's been doing lately that have been bugging me (I'm sure he loved that! lol) and he really listened and thought about it and I know he heard me. I feel like he'd gotten all "clinical" on me lately - but I know he heard that, and it wasn't like that at all today.

So, I guess the 90 minute session thing worked, at least for today. The BEST part was that I left therapy feeling fine (other than the headache) and felt really good and non-spiraly for the rest of the day. That was big. I left a message for T and told him that, and he left me a message and said if that was the ONLY outcome of the 90 minute appt, that would make it totally worth it.

I'm so glad I have such a flexible T...I really need that.

It feels good to feel better!