I agree with turquoisesea. It was only by becoming an observer that I gained the understanding I have today. Can still be a little confused at times but everything is a whole lot better than it was.

Keep a journal but make them all agree to keep it. I had a few torn up in rage. Discuss and agree to keep one and allow everyone to have their say and respect their views and opinions. Only by agreeing to work together will you have any chance at a decent life.