it's bringing up soooo many emotions with him and past stuff and I hate it. I have been trying to ignore them and hold them in but they are building up so much that I am starting to feel myself shaking from the inside out.

I dont feel like going to see T tomorrow. I dont think I will be of any use sitting there on her couch and

I dont want to take the chance of breaking down in front of her--if that happens i will probably end up running out and locking myself in the bathroom for the rest of the session...so to avoid complete embarrassment I'd rather not go at all.