I think I just realized something.
I think I have been self-medicating with Sudafed and Benadryl.
It started when i started having really bad sinus headaches,
and I would take the Sudafed or Benadryl to relieve my pain,
and now... I am still taking it for pain, but I think I may also
be self-medicating in a way, because I just realized that I like
the side effects I get when I take the medication. It knocks me out.
It makes me sleep better than I have ever slept in my life... I sleep like a rock...
I could sleep through a f*cking tornado, and even after I wake up from it...
if i haven't slept long enough to sleep ALL the effects off, I am like a f*cking zombie...
my head will feel all... foggy. and it almost feels like I'm not in my body (if that makes sense)
just going through the motions of life... not really feeling... or thinking.

I love it... it's great... I don't have to deal with my husband's family's
b*llsh*t (because I'm not awake for it) and if I am awake for it... I could care less!!!